Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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