u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
