dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You smell like stripper and shame
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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