This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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