I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize