I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
