my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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