he puts the penis in happiness.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We don't watch enough power rangers
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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