Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
