I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
