Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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