have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
