Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
