His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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