if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
