Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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