stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
