3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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