we have officially lost it.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
