Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
