Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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