next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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