some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
