I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
