I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
