I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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