Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
