love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
