I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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