Kiss
Puke
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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