Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
