I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
