Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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