there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
