Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
