We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
this hospital has no fireball
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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