Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Michael Bay diarrhea
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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