I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It was a blind-side dick pic.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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