Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
