he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize