Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
