According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
