During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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