I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
