After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
