Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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