How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize