is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize