No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize