if you like me you must not know who I am
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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