I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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