my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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