I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
