grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
