yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
