YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize
