I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
