Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
