I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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